how cinematic!

Blood, how cinematic. Blood has cinematic effects on reality that should not go under-acknowledged. The time we killed the kitten was just like that, I said fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck while crouched on the edge of the sidewalk as you paced back and forth. At that moment I was sure I was not really living - no, this was the sad ending to a sad movie that I would never watch again. At this point in our relationship the screen went blank and the credits began to roll: teenage boy skillfully played with anguish by Michael Matthew Rodgers; teenage girl portraying shock and disbelief in an incredibly realistic manner played by Yours Truly; and sweet, innocent kitten played by Someone's Pet. Whose, we'll never know. Maybe we could have loved each other, but after this day, I couldn't even look you in the eye. Maybe we didn't kill the kitten, maybe we just happened to be there, maybe it was God's Will; but sadly, context doesn't matter when a kitten dies. It's just a dead bleeding kitten and it's the worst thing in the world.

It was like that in the hospital, too. It happened the time you fell in the hallway when you saw us for the first time. And when that little bit of blood oozed from your big toe and dripped on to the carpet, I realized this, this, this was not happening, this was not life. This was a movie that groups of friends would watch together in someone's basement over the weekend and at least one person would secretly cry in to the blanket.