satisfaction

in terms of pasttimes, she preferred masturbation over anything else. between intellectual masturbation and physical masturbation, it was practically all she ever did in her spare time.

in terms of intellectual masturbation, she would write lengthy blog entries and letters to the editor to various publications that made intangible philosophical and political commentaries, most often by referencing canonized literature, foreign films, Foucault, and occasionally pop culture. she had an average of 14 tweets a day chronicling her academic reflections to everything around.

in terms of physical masturbation, she pleasured herself upon waking up, prior to falling asleep, in the shower, and a variety of other times and locations, including occasionally in the bathroom at work. sometimes there was porn or a vibrator involved; other times she used her imagination and her hand. masturbation was useful because 1) women struck her as judgmental and made her nervous, and 2) men struck her as just plain incompetent. she always came.